Happy Solstice (Dominant Paradigm Style)

I really wanted to celebrate Solstice this year, but I forgot about it until 9:30 that night. I had this thing worked out it in my head. I'd wish all my coworkers (97.3% Xtians) a Happy Solstice and they'd go "huh?" and then I'd feel brainy and smug as I enlightened them as to how their Christian forebearers adopted their evergreen tree from a pagan symbols and how the faith they've attached themselves to was filled with lies and blind cultural thievery and was inherently unsustainable and destructive ~unless, maybe just maybe, you approached it knowing about such dangers and my words, eloquent but not quite condescending, would usher in a new era of understanding and peace and I'd be their savior then!! Yeah, I'd be the Chosen One!! And the world would finally know peace and harmony under my sneering (yet beneficent) rule! This is what I was born for in my incubation-manger! And as I realize this I am transformed into a Paradoxical All-Being, contained by this flesh, but dwelling throughout the entire universe! Question me and perish! Obey or be cast into flame! Enjoy my peace and harmony, you worms!

But, like I said, I forgot it was Solstice, even when the lady next to me said, "Hey, it's the first day of winter." I totally spaced. So next year, I'm leaving myself a sticky note.