This fracking makes my day

I just got the first season of Battlestar Galactica on DVD for XMas! Yay!
It's one of the best dramas on TV, and possibly the best sci fi series of all time, thanks, in part, to a 5 year production deal that the Sci-Fi Channel gave its producers... all the episodes for the first 5 seasons were written before any shooting, casting, anything at all, was done. So the storylines, characters, the whole world was thoroughly fleshed out beforehand. If you look at other sci fi series, ST:TNG (e.g.) the first 3ish seasons were awkward, clunky, and the characters were really flat... because the writers were stumbling through making it up as they went episode by episode... that's why some storylines (like the claymation brain scorpions that took over Star Fleet Command) just dissolved... they didn't yet have a cohesive direction. And it's debatable whether they ever got it. BSG's another story. Gritty, with well realized relationships and a complex and gripping story. The new season starts in less than 2 weeks! Whee!

Happy Solstice (Dominant Paradigm Style)

I really wanted to celebrate Solstice this year, but I forgot about it until 9:30 that night. I had this thing worked out it in my head. I'd wish all my coworkers (97.3% Xtians) a Happy Solstice and they'd go "huh?" and then I'd feel brainy and smug as I enlightened them as to how their Christian forebearers adopted their evergreen tree from a pagan symbols and how the faith they've attached themselves to was filled with lies and blind cultural thievery and was inherently unsustainable and destructive ~unless, maybe just maybe, you approached it knowing about such dangers and my words, eloquent but not quite condescending, would usher in a new era of understanding and peace and I'd be their savior then!! Yeah, I'd be the Chosen One!! And the world would finally know peace and harmony under my sneering (yet beneficent) rule! This is what I was born for in my incubation-manger! And as I realize this I am transformed into a Paradoxical All-Being, contained by this flesh, but dwelling throughout the entire universe! Question me and perish! Obey or be cast into flame! Enjoy my peace and harmony, you worms!

But, like I said, I forgot it was Solstice, even when the lady next to me said, "Hey, it's the first day of winter." I totally spaced. So next year, I'm leaving myself a sticky note.

Verses That Never Made it Into "The Diarrhea Song"

Verses That Never Made it Into the Diarrhea Song... and the Reasons Why

VERSE:
When you're standing in a line
and you take a steaming shit in your pants...
diarrhea, diarrhea

REASON FOR OMISSION:
Failure to rhyme; rhythm also sketchy


VERSE:
When You take Immodium AD pills
and your stomach better feels...
diarrhea, diarrhea

REASON FOR OMISSION:
does not result in diarrhea


VERSE:
When dehydration and loss of electrolytes are issues
and you run out of toilet tissue...
diarrhea, diarrhea

REASON FOR OMISSION:
too medical


VERSE:
When you have diarrhea
and you have diarrhea...
diarrhea, diarrhea

REASON FOR OMISSION:
Lacks subtlety



When you step on a crack
And poop runs down your back...
diarrhea, diarrhea

VERSE:
causal relationship is unclear